Jane Slayre. Really?

One day last year, most likely as I whiled away some slow hours at my desk by doing what I do best; surfing the vast labyrinth of online entertainment news, I came across a review or news item or something of that sort about a book called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Now, at this point in time I had recently fallen in love with the Jane Austen classic, thanks in large part to Colin Firth, Matthew Macfadyen and Kiera Knightley. I enjoyed the adapted BBC miniseries just as much as the recent adaption by the brilliant Joe Wright and as I spent the majority of my life 100% sure I would not enjoy a story that seemed, by mere cover-judging, horrendously boring, I was shocked to discover that the story was in fact a not-so-hidden (just from me, as it turned out) treasure of beautifully written characters, not to mention the surprising intensity of such outwardly boring scenes like a group of prissy nobles sitting and talking in a room together. Who knew you'd be on the edge of your seat with something like that, eh? Not I , that's for sure.

Anyhow, even though I had found the movie versions of the classic novel to be both stimulating and highly satisfying, I had yet to crack open the actual book, despite my undying love and devotion to all things musty, old, and book-like (to this day, I walk into a bookstore and am immediately soothed in both body and soul). So when I ran across the news that a well-received spoof of the original had been published, I decided to first finally read the original and then try out the Seth Grahame-Smith, zombie-infused version (which seemed far too possibly, ridiculously hilarious to pass-up). I read the original, both bored at times (as I originally suspected) and interested also, especially when scenes came along that weren't in either movie version, but which included all the best aspects of the Elizabeth/Mr. Darcy relationship. Finally, I finished (yay for me) and after stopping by three different bookstores who were sold out of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, I found a copy and started on the bloody-good, rip-off version. It was slow work, I admit, since even though the zombies spiced up the story a bit, I felt like I was merely re-reading a story I had just read. My reading was slowed even further, stopped in fact, when some unpleasant vandals broke into my car one night and stole my bag, which contained my one copy of the book and also my lovely Phantom of the Opera bookmark that a friend of mine (Mrs. Kiwi herself) had given to me as a gift. Blasted hoodlums! My quest for sophisticated and classic, literary self-schooling (my reading tends toward the less sophisticated and more towards knights and dungeons and dragons) had been foiled and I have yet to find the will (or let's face it, the overwhelming desire) to buy another copy.

Since that first novel by Grahame-Smith, which combined classic literature with eyebrow-raising and giggle-inducing horror, there have been several other books written in the same style. Ben H. Winters changed Sense and Sensibility to include "...and Sea Monsters" and Grahame-Smith wrote another historical adaption in the form of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer. The movie rights for P&P&Z were sold and the film is now attached to Natalie Portman and now Steve Hockensmith will soon release a prequel to P&P&Z called Dawn of the Dreadfuls (see video below).





This all seems like a very long and round-about way to discuss both this new trend of classic literary spoofs and also the news of yet another Supernatural-ifed classic novel; Jane Slayre. I know, right? Is it just me or is this getting a bit ridiculous? Don't get me wrong. I love the reinvention of history as much as the next Buffy fan. One of my favorite short stories involves a slayer, her watcher, General Sherman and the re-writing of his historic burning from Atlanta to Savannah to include the motivation provided by the dangers of vampire nests too near to a recent battlefield. Needless to say, re-writing history is more often than naught a very fun and interesting exercise... but this is getting to be a bit much, don't ya think? You can only do something so many times before it gets old. And I'm starting to feel old, people.

What about you? Do you think I'm being too harsh or are you sitting beside me in my camp, enjoying the fire of literary indignity? Has anyone else attempted to read one of these re-tellings, or have you too been foiled by easily-broken, car-window glass and an unlucky parking space?

The Hero of Ages

Here is a QotD from the book I am reading right now, "The Hero of Ages" by Brandon Sanderson. Slowswift gives a great argument that I am personally fond of making...




"Do you enjoy stories, young lady?"
"What kind of stories?"
"The best kind, of course," Slowswift said, tapping his book. " The kind about monsters and myths. Longtales, some call them - stories told by skaa around the fires, whispering of mistwraiths, sprites, and brollins and such."
"I don't have much time for stories," Vin said.
"Seems that fewer and fewer people do, these days. It makes me wonder what is so alluring about the real world that gives them all such a fetish for it. It's not a very nice place these days."

The Mortal Instruments

Hello gentle readers,

I'm here to tell you about a wondrous and intriguing new book series, The Mortal Instruments trilogy by Cassandra Clare. As you may (or may not) have noticed via my reliable sidebar, I've been inhaling these books within the last couple weeks, living and breathing the enthralling story held within it's crisp pages. I am now about halfway through the third and final volume and I must say that it is incredibly difficult to focus on anything, be it work, television, rare social outings or yes, even this blog, but barreling through the last 300 pages or so of this book. However, I cannot take credit for discovering this series. One of the members of my unspoken and very small book club (Tina, Katie, Heather and I) discovered them, told another member and that member in turn gave them to me, insisting I start reading them immediately. Slightly unwilling but having no other reading options at hand, I started the first book, City of Bones, and despite my prideful and stubborn nature, was soon captivated by yet another teenage girl's extraordinary story. I can't help but wonder what it is about these young teenage girls (and even boys) who go suddenly from a normal, safe life to a life filled with thrills, chills and spills (Bella). They are at first too young to align ourselves with, too young to be able to confidently stand in their shoes and experience their story. And yet they all have something in common; they are all "old souls", mature beyond their 15 or 16 years and they all remind us of ourselves, or maybe, they remind us of what we really want; to be special, to have a life of adventure, to fall in love, to make a difference. And consequently, we find we have no trouble at all looking through the eyes of a 15 year old girl or a 10 year old boy. I am of course speaking of Bella Swan, Harry Potter, Zoey Redbird, Eragon and numerous others including the newest, Clary, from this series.

So, if you enjoyed Twilight, if you loved Harry Potter and tried out the House of Night series and also enjoyed it, give these books a try and I guarantee you'll love them too. Also, for you gals out there, if you love Edward and/or Jacob, you'll fall just as hard for Jace. Or as Stephenie Meyer says, "Sorry Edward and Jacob, I'm spending my night with Jace", or something to that nature.

Check out the official site, for fun fan artwork and other cool stuff.

Quote of the Day

Hi all, here's your QotD, another one from Mistborn. This book is getting REALLY good and I'm almost finished. If I haven't bothered you about it already, go pick it up at your local bookstore. After reading most of it, I've decided that the final installment of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series should be in good hands. So, let's get crackin' Sanderson! It's not like I've spent the last 10 years of my life waiting for the ending to the story, jeez!



"Other men worry whether or not they will be remembered. I have no such fears; even disregarding the Terris prophecies, I have brought such chaos, conflict, and hope to this world that there is little chance that I will be forgotten. I worry about what they will say of me. Historians can make what they wish of the past. In a thousand years' time, will I be remembered as the man who protected mankind from a powerful evil? Or, will I be remembered as a tyrant who arrogantly tried to make himself a legend?"





On another, totally different note: Don't forget that Trust Me premieres tonight on TNT at 10pm. Like Leverage and The Closer, I believe this will be one of our better and more popular shows. Tom Cavanagh and Eric McCormack have great chemistry and are both great actors. If you want to learn more about the show, go here.


The pilot is awesome, go watch it!

On Being a Thane...

"What, then, is a Thane? Some will tell you that a Thane is a proud or greedy man who makes himself a lord over others the better to satisfy his basest hungers. I tell you, my beloved son, that this is not so. Rather; a Thane is a servant. He serves his people, and all people, by standing between them and the darkness.

There is an impulse in this world, and in we its peoples, towards destruction and decay. Ungoverned, we will always, sooner or later, tear down whatever we have built, unlearn whatever we have learned. If there are to be no Gods to give us order, we must impose order upon ourselves lest we sink for ever into a chaos of cruelty and suffering. Such was the darkness we fell into at the departure of the Gods."

From Bloodheir, by Brian Ruckley

Monday Ramblings

Yes, I know I know. I haven't blogged in a couple days and I just know that every one of my one and a half readers (I am rounding up) have missed me so. I just haven't had a whole bunch of a lot to ramble about. I could talk about Justin Hartley from Smallville and how I now want to know everything there is to know about Green Arrow, cause he works that part like no other.

Um...can you say "Yum"?

Or I could ramble about this new series of books I have been devouring (mostly cause they are young adult and so easy to read and get sucked into), The House of Night series by P.C. and Kristin Cast.

"Please, just please with the same-sex kissing".

http://www.youtube.com/user/houseofnightbooks

I could do a mini-motivation of the week (which yes, I noticed I stopped doing awhile ago) and talk about how excited I am to take over my parent's house down in Perry this weekend with my BFFs for the State Fair. Should be a cotton-lovin' blast.

Or, ohhh, I could discuss my recently discovered admiration for Freaks and Geeks. A producer friend gave me the one and only box set for the television show last week and since then I have fallen even more deeply in love with James Franco and have actually found a concrete crush for Jason Segal. This show rocks, ya'll. If you haven't seen, you should get on that. It's totally worth it.

I could also bring up the fact that I saw "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" this weekend and that it's one of the best movies I have seen in awhile. I mean really. It was pretty much the most awesome, awkward, inspiring, hilarious and "awwwww" movie ever. Ok, maybe not ever, but at least recently. Michael Cera is just too cute and there was just enough gay in that movie to remind me why I adore my gay friends so much. It's totally worth the $10 for the ticket and that's saying a lot, what with the crap we have been recently handed at the theaters lately.

Yeah, I guess there is plenty to ramble about, now that I think about it. And hopefully Heroes tonight will offer up it's recently solidified love/hate line I adore to play around on so much. Edge of a knife people, edge of a knife. Anyway...rock on, blessed be, come back now ya hear? However you like it.

A Portrait of a Killer

Here's your QotD, from the novel "The Blade Itself" by Joe Abercrombie. I've been slowing making my way through it, but it's a little less action and romance and more strategy and deep thinking than I usually like. Still, it's worth reading.

"There are few men with more blood on their hands than me. None, that I know of. The Bloody-Nine they call me, my enemies, and there's a lot of 'em. Always more enemies, and fewer friends. Blood gets you nothing but more blood. It follows me now, always, like my shadow, and like my shadow I can never be free of it. I should never be free of it. I've earned it. I've deserved it. I've sought it out. Such is my punishment." - Logan Nine-Fingers

Breaking Dawn

I can no longer hold off my instinctual desire to shower you with Breaking Dawn quotes. I held off as long as possible, but I'm only human. So, here are some of my favorite Breaking Dawn moments. Live them, love them, thank me later. *As always, this book was written by Stephenie Meyer. These are her words.

"I could get used to this," I said.

"Don't tell me you've gotten over your dancing issues?"

"Dancing isn't so bad - with you. But I was thinking more of this, " - and I pressed myself to him even tighter - "of never having to let you go."

"Never," he promised, and he leaned down to kiss me.

It was a serious kind of kiss - intense, slow but building...

I'd pretty much forgotten where I was when I heard Alice call, "Bella! It's time!"

I felt a brief flicker of irritation with my new sister for the interruption.

Edward ignored her; his lips were hard on mine, more urgent than before. My heart broke into a sprint and my palms were slick against his marble neck.

"Do you want to miss your plane?" Alice demanded, right next to me now. "I'm sure you'll have a lovely honeymoon camped out in the airport waiting for another flight."

Edward turned his face slightly to murmur, "Go away, Alice," and then pressed his lips to mine again.

"Bella, do you want to wear that dress on the airplane?" she demanded.

I wasn't really paying much attention. At the moment, I simply didn't care.

Alice growled quietly. "I'll tell her where you're taking her, Edward. So help me, I will."

He froze. Then he lifted his face from mine and glared at his favorite sister. "You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating."

How did people do this - swallow all their fears and trust someone else so implicitly with every imperfection and fear they had - with less than the absolute commitment Edward had given me? If it weren't Edward out there, if I didn't know with every cell of my body that he loved me as much as I loved him - unconditionally and irrevocably and, to be honest, irrationally - I'd never be able to get up off this floor.

But it was Edward out there, so I whispered the words "Don't be a coward" under my breath and scrambled to my feet. I hitched the towel tighter under my arms and marched determinedly from the bathroom. Past the suitcase full of lace and the big bed without looking at either. Out the open glass door onto the powder-fine sand.

Edward's golden eyes were empty. "It probably just leads back to the house."

"Then I'll meet you there."

At first I thought he would let me go alone, but then, as I moved a few steps away, his blank eyes flickered to life.

"I'll come with you, " he said quietly. "We'll met you at home, Carlisle."

Carlisle nodded, and the others left. I waited until they were out of sight, and then I looked at Edward questioningly.

"I couldn't let you walk away from me," he explained in a low voice. "It hurt just to imagine it."

I understood without more explanation than that. I thought of being divided from him now and realized I would have felt the same pain, no matter how short the separation.

There was so little time left to be together.

I held my hand out to him, and he took it.

She'll Break Your Heart

Here's your quote of the day...it's a good one!



"You see, women are like fires, like flames. Some women are like candles, bright and friendly. Some are like single sparks, or embers, like fireflies for chasing on summer nights. Some are like campfires, all light and heat for a night and willing to be left after. Some women are like hearthfires, not much to look at but underneath they are all warm red coal that burns a long, long while. But Dianne...Dianne is like a waterfall of spark pouring off a sharp iron edge that God is holding to the grindstone. You can't help but look, can't help but want it. You might even put your hand to it for a second. But you can't hold it. She'll break your heart..."



Ah, Patrick Rothfuss, your words will make women swoon. *sigh* Anyway, that was a passage from Rothfuss' The Name of the Wind. Excellent book. Go pick it up at your local Borders and you can thank me later. Plus, he's a Buffy fan so there isn't much I don't love about this guy. No, seriously.

Encircled

"What was it that made this human love so much more desirable to me than the love of my own kind? Was it because it was exclusive and capricious? The souls offered love and acceptance to all. Did I crave a greater challenge? This love was tricky; it had no hard-and-fast rules - it might be given for free, as with Jamie, or earned through time and hard work, as with Ian, or completely and heartbreakingly unattainable, as with Jared.

Or was it simply better somehow? Because these humans could hate with so much fury, was the other end of the spectrum that they could love with more heart and zeal and fire?

I didn't know why I yearned after it so desperately. All I knew was that, now that I had it, it was worth every ounce of risk and agony it had cost. It was better than I'd imagined.

It was everything."

- From The Host, by Stephenie Meyer, again.

Love: Accident or Fate?

Good morning avid readers! Let's get this quote on! Yes, I am a nerd but I can still beat your ass, so there! And yes, I am also still in third grade...

"In so many millennia, the humans never did figure love out. How much is physical, how much in the mind? How much accident and how much fate? Why did perfect matches crumble and impossible couples thrive? I don't know the answers any better than they did. Love simply is where it is."

I read this passage last night while waiting for dinner (I had a great chef over last night and it was a treat, since I myself cannot cook worth a damn and I so rarely get cooked for) and also waiting for the freakin' All-Star Game to take a million hours to actually start. Talk about presentation. I think all the introductions and singing and riding around in golf carts over perfectly manicured fields took longer than the actual game! Jeez! Anyway, again I digress. This passage is from The Host (thank you Tina!) and just like always, Stephenie Meyer struck me down by asking the most simple and yet one of the most important questions in our world; whatever culture you may be apart of. I love anything to do with love (I am a FEMALE, after all) and these questions plague me just as much as I am sure they secretly plague you, reader. I keep thinking that if we could just get the formula correct, maybe we could stop making mistakes. But it's not about formula, is it? That's why we have lived for so long and still just don't get it. But perhaps its the "just don't get it" part that makes things in life more exciting, more dramatic and more interesting. If we did in fact discover the formula, there would be no more learning, no more long searches, no more bonding with our girlfriends over misery and margaritas; maybe we would even miss out on meeting some really great people because they didn't fall into our own individual "formula". So who really wants to know the formula for love anyway? It's so much more interesting to stumble around blind in the dark, momentarily touching and changing the lives of whoever we come into contact with, just hoping one day we will stumble into the one person who "fits" perfectly. Maybe that's just optimism, but if you knew me, you would know that is not a statistical possibility.